Identity Thief review

Courtesy of Universal Pictures

Identity Thief
Directed by Seth Gordon
Written by Craig Mazin; Story by Jerry Eeten and Craig Mazin
Stars Jason Bateman, Melissa McCarthy, Jon Favreau, Amanda Peet, T.I., Genesis Rodriguez, Morris Chesnut, John Cho, Robert Patrick
MPAA: Rated R for sexual content and language
A Universal Pictures Release

*1/2 (out of four)

There's one thing that's desperately missing from Identity Thief: laughs. That's generally what you look for in a comedy, right? I've forgiven the dumbest of comedies, the most implausible of premises, and the most gaping plotholes if the movie makes me laugh loud, hard, and often. Identity Thief made me laugh once in its entire 110 minute runtime.

Courtesy of Universal Pictures

You may wonder if one laugh is worth one-and-a-half stars. You may wonder why I didn't give it the infamous Ryan Oliver "Zero Star" rating. Well, the reason being is that I'd like to think that I have matured at least a bit as my film education continues to grow. And, as an aspiring screenwriter, from that standpoint, the storytelling structure of this film does many things right. This is a road-action-comedy, essentially a mix of Planes, Trains, and Automobiles and Midnight Run. You have mismatched partners - the straight-man and the wildcard - and a progression of worsening scenarios.

Here's the setup: Sandy Bigelow Patterson (Jason Bateman) is a whiz-account, but under-appreciated and underpaid at the Fortune 500 Company he works for. He makes $50,000 a year, lives in a small apartment with his wife (Amanda Peet) and two kids, with a third on the way. Sandy is breaking away from his company, and becoming VP for a former employee (John Cho), but not before he is scammed by a woman in Florida named Diana (Melissa McCarthy) who steals his identity, taking the advantage of him having a female name. To get his identity back, he goes down to Florida to bring her back, not before they are chased by some drug dealers (T.I. and Genesis Rodriguez) and an old-school skiptracer (Robert Patrick).

Courtesy of Universal Pictures

They are able to set up McCarthy's Diana the way that John Candy's Del Griffith is set up in Planes: a loner with no one and no place to call home. The film's somewhat sentimental ending doesn't seem too out of place given that the emotion was rooted early on to give it a payoff. But again, there's a great cast, especially the two leads in best straight-man Bateman and wildcard McCarthy, but there's no laughs. And, for its flaw in the story structure that I give faint praise to, the B-plot involving the drug dealers makes no sense from square one. Of course, looking at the lack of laughs, discovering that the screenwriter is Craig Mazin, that would explain it, seeing how is IMDb page doesn't bring up a single funny comedy (RocketMan, Scary Movie 3 & 4, Superhero Movie, and The Hangover Part II should give you an idea).

Courtesy of Universal Pictures

Again, Bateman and McCarthy could have rocked a funny road movie. And, I wished for McCarthy's sake and that jerk New York Observer critic Rex Reed taking stabs at her weight in his review, that this movie would actually be good. And I had high hopes that director Seth Gordon - coming off of Horrible Bosses - would bring in another winner. Those hopes vanished quick, though. Where other, better road comedies relied on wit, this one relies to much on physical violence for its laughs. Even the Planes carbon-copy Due Date was much, much better than this dead-end. I noticed that Jonathan Banks - who plays Mike Ehrmantrout on TV's hands-down best show, Breaking Bad - has a bit part as the criminal who orders the drug dealers to take out Diana. After the credits rolled for Identity Thief, Mike's immortal words to Walter White came to my head: "You know those moments when you're supposed to say 'It's been a pleasure?' It hasn't."